Thursday, 25 November 2010

Like It Matters


I don't get why parenting is so competitive (but i feel the pull myself)

I don't know why it matters it a child walks at 9 months or 19 (there must be something wrong with the late walkers , the parent must be doing something wrong so the pre mother me once said)

First words , when they start sitting , when they crawl why does it all matter ?

Why did people look at me in horror when i mentioned my 18 month old daughter was not walking yet?
Why did the same people a few months down the line act so shocked when i said my 9 month old daughter was walking . Why would there child who you know was not walking till there birthday suddenly of started at 8 months ?

Maybe i am getting my bitch on now

But you can look at my daughters and you could not tell which one was the late walker and which one the early .

I don't get why it matters if your child toilet trains early or moves into a bed before its first birthday . I got that look today (you must know that look) when i mention my son now a whole 26 months still sleeps in his cot and is not toilet trained . "Oh " the mother so nicely commented "my dd was out of nappies by 18 months and in a bed by 1" . My response (in my head) was WHO GIVES A F*** . We are happy and don't want to rock the boat..

Parents should pay more attention to the child - are they loved ? are they kissed and cuddled each and every day ? are they sick of the constant "i love yous" and attention . That is what matters ...not when they walked or talked .

(And god forbid the oh so proud parent talking about there 16 week old child and how much solids she takes every day . That to me does matter)

this has been a post bought to you in conjunction with Sleep is for the weak and the lovely writing workshop. It is jumbled thoughts in my head and not very well written but i wanted it out there


  1. Here here. What a great piece for the workshop and I fully agree. xx

  2. Amen sister! People look at my girls like they are freaks because they walked so early... My husband and I did too. They are active and happy and loved that is all that matters!

  3. Oh man I soooo agree. I hate the fact that a little voice in my head goes for the competitive thing and yet I don't care - it doesn't matter. It is no indication of anything. Great piece

  4. I'm with you too! As a mum of two girls, I have never got the competitive mum thing.

    Weirdly, a thought hit me tonight - at over two, my youngest is still in nappies. Her elder sister was in pants by two years old but I haven't even thought it about it with my youngest, I just couldn't give a toot, it simply does not matter. She'll do it when she's ready.

    I can always remember sitting at a antenatal reunion and it was like watching a competition about who'd had the worst labour experience, it was incredible! Incredibly sad too!

  5. This is SO damn true! Great post sweety! :)

  6. Good for you in putting this out there!

    And hey I read somewhere that Einstein didn't walk till he was 3 year's old (too busy trying to figure out why the apple fell from the tree x).

  7. So true. People worry about the details and maybe forget the bigger picture

  8. As a relatively new mum, I had no idea the world I was entering. It's uber competitive and I sometimes find myself in a panic when comparing my son to others his age. But you're right, does it matter if he didnt roll at the same time as the other kid, did it matter that instead of crawling he decided to snake around the room for a bit, commando style, does it matter that he refused a bottle and everyone elses' kids were completely weaned. No - he is happy, growing, healthy and loved - that is what matters. Thanks for reminding me of this!

  9. My two are older now, 12 and 8 and my daughter (8yr old) still sleeps in with me most nights. I remember allowing (?) this when she was a toddler and thinking "if she's still doing it when she's 13, then I'll worry", well she falls asleep within minutes of getting into my bed and sleeps right through....even when she drifts off in her own bed, she wakes at silly o'clock and trundles through - is it a problem? Well, I'm single so No! She says she gets lonely - who am I to argue with that???