Friday, 12 November 2010

Breathing Space

It was one of the most difficult times of my life.

My eldest daughter then just 3 year old was in hospital fighting for her life . At times we were unsure when or if she would wake up and be ours again . It was the second time we went through this , as a newborn we had a similar experience .

The 2nd time seems to have left a much deeper scar , it was a much darker time . This was not a baby i did not know but my girl , the girl i had spent 3 years loving and she was so very sick . I also could not devote all my time to her , her sister then only 1 years old needed me...needed her mum, as did the baby i was carrying inside me.


I look back on that month with horror and pride , the help we received from family and friends made the experience just a little less horrid . My one year old was spoiled and cared for even if i could not be around

There is one bright day that stands out from the rest . I cannot remember the reason but i was not going to the hospital till later that day and i got to spend the morning with Eilidh . We went to our local country park and ran around , we saw animals and played in the park and most importantly enjoyed each other . Her life had changed so much and so suddenly and this was just a normal morning .

I found joy in her laughter and antics , i found happiness in the chatter and freedom. I got to breath that day , i enjoyed the sun and being mum again .

I held my baby close and just had to have faith in my *other* baby being ok.

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It always comes back to the same thing , for me (even if they are the source of my problems) nothing helps me relax and re-charge like the amazing hugs and kisses from my children . In the darkest times i seek them and i need them , they can always make everything better .


This was part of the Writing Workshop i choose prompt 2

. Coming Up For Air (by George Orwell)
- Write about a time you found peace after a difficult time. Or, alternatively, write about breathing spaces. What helps you re-charge?

2 comments:

  1. Awwwwwwwwwwww hugs!!! As you very well know, I've been there :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice image amid the horror.

    (Came via SIFTW btw)

    ReplyDelete