Saturday 29 January 2011

Behind Closed Doors

I admit this is something i am guilty off , i assume that because you blog or we have been friends online that i know you . If someone asked i could rattle of little details and facts about your life . I could tell them about your family , friends and in alot of cases beyond . I know how you were bullied as a child or how your irregular periods made it difficult for you to conceive. I know you hate your bum but think your breasts are awesome. I know you love chocolate and that carrots make you sick . I know your hopes , dreams and fears .

In a world such as blogging where we are free to express our true selves it is easy to forget that behind these words may lie a different person. No matter how much we feel we know someone you don't really know what is going on behind closed doors.

I remember the first time i really realised this , a blogger announced her husband leaving her for another woman . She has always seemed so open and to the world projected no idea of what was going on behind the scenes . In the years that have followed i have read her blog in amazement as she raises her children and rejoices in single parenting . She alone though made me realise that not everything is as it seems..

A few months back i witnessed another marriage breakdown , this person i have known online for years in both blogging and online email group . I always got the impression she was incredibly happy, they were recently married and trying for another child . There love was clear to see. When they split , i think everyone was surprised . Her perfect partner had been not so perfect and behind her happy words was violence , abuse , drug problems and more heart ache than i could ever imagine.

I wonder how many of my online friends are holding back secrets ? Money problems ?Infertility ? Struggling with parenthood ? . Behind those funny blog posts i wonder if there lies something more and i hope that there does not .

Of course you may wonder if i myself hold secrets and of course i do , is it anything major and shocking ? No but as with us all i am not willing to share every part of my life with the online community.

 (I am not sure just what i am trying to say with this post accept it has been on my mind for a while )

3 comments:

  1. I think the thing is, there are certain issues that we go through, which just aren't ours to tell.
    I think I maybe recognise the person who made you realise not all is as it seems...
    I could have bitched about it all, written huge diatribes, but I just didn't see the point, both online and in real life. Once I was over the initial shock of it, I just wanted to move forward and get on with things instead of wallowing. Know what I mean?
    x

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  2. I always try and bear in mind that if you are somewhere without a computer, this community and these friends effectively don't exist any more.
    You can never know someone purely from online.

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  3. It is very true, you never know what is going on behind closed doors.

    You do have to be very careful with this online stuff.

    Mich x

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