Saturday, 29 January 2011

Behind Closed Doors

I admit this is something i am guilty off , i assume that because you blog or we have been friends online that i know you . If someone asked i could rattle of little details and facts about your life . I could tell them about your family , friends and in alot of cases beyond . I know how you were bullied as a child or how your irregular periods made it difficult for you to conceive. I know you hate your bum but think your breasts are awesome. I know you love chocolate and that carrots make you sick . I know your hopes , dreams and fears .

In a world such as blogging where we are free to express our true selves it is easy to forget that behind these words may lie a different person. No matter how much we feel we know someone you don't really know what is going on behind closed doors.

I remember the first time i really realised this , a blogger announced her husband leaving her for another woman . She has always seemed so open and to the world projected no idea of what was going on behind the scenes . In the years that have followed i have read her blog in amazement as she raises her children and rejoices in single parenting . She alone though made me realise that not everything is as it seems..

A few months back i witnessed another marriage breakdown , this person i have known online for years in both blogging and online email group . I always got the impression she was incredibly happy, they were recently married and trying for another child . There love was clear to see. When they split , i think everyone was surprised . Her perfect partner had been not so perfect and behind her happy words was violence , abuse , drug problems and more heart ache than i could ever imagine.

I wonder how many of my online friends are holding back secrets ? Money problems ?Infertility ? Struggling with parenthood ? . Behind those funny blog posts i wonder if there lies something more and i hope that there does not .

Of course you may wonder if i myself hold secrets and of course i do , is it anything major and shocking ? No but as with us all i am not willing to share every part of my life with the online community.

 (I am not sure just what i am trying to say with this post accept it has been on my mind for a while )


  1. I think the thing is, there are certain issues that we go through, which just aren't ours to tell.
    I think I maybe recognise the person who made you realise not all is as it seems...
    I could have bitched about it all, written huge diatribes, but I just didn't see the point, both online and in real life. Once I was over the initial shock of it, I just wanted to move forward and get on with things instead of wallowing. Know what I mean?

  2. I always try and bear in mind that if you are somewhere without a computer, this community and these friends effectively don't exist any more.
    You can never know someone purely from online.

  3. It is very true, you never know what is going on behind closed doors.

    You do have to be very careful with this online stuff.

    Mich x