Emotional

This week has been a week full of up's and down's.

I received a letter a few weeks ago telling me i had been selected for jury duty . Maybe i could of got out of it but i do feel its my civic duty and if i am being honest i was curious about it.

So Monday i set of to the court , i am assuming these things work the same way in most places but will explain how it went for me anyways.

It started with being told how things would go and a roll call - 80 people are chosen each week and those names put in a bowl and 15 people called to sit on the jury . A certain amount of cases are held each week (for us there was 3 ) and you are on call all week (so if you are not selected for one you will have to go through the selection again ) .
Monday was a case against a young man for violence and i was not chosen , it was fine i went home and spent the time with my family.
Tuesday that case was over and i had to back in again - i admit i really , really wanted chosen . It was a little break for me , i got to be involved in something different while daddy got to play mummy at home . My mind was changed when i was told what the case was about - indecent and lewd behaviour towards a child over 12 and under 16 . Of course i was then picked .

I am not sure how much i am allowed now to say about the event so i will not say to much , it boiled down to a young girl making a claim against her uncle saying he sexually attacked her . We listened to this girl give evidence along with the uncle and other family members , we listened to forensic experts and the police and much lawyer talk.

I am not going to lie and say and of this was easy , i hope to never see a young girl give horrible evidence like that again .

The trial lasted 4 days and today we gave the verdict "guilty" .

And i feel guilty , we have convicted someone - we have changed his whole life . I am not 100% sure he was guilty and that makes it worse (i did reflect that and choose not proven as my verdict ) .

I don't know what to make of the experience , i am tired and shaking and keep replaying everything over and over again . Did we do the right thing or not ? It does not matter now as its done .

But jury duty is not a rest or a holiday , its an emotional struggle that i am sure will stay with me forever .