Cry Baby

It is a Gallery meet writers workshop this week . With one word to focus on ...Emotions

I went through many different pictures trying to find one that called to me and could not decide between something that said emotion or made me feel . In the end i went for this.



He was never a happy child . His birth was perfect , born at home in the water but the pregnancy was stressful and i often wonder if this was something to do with his temperament ? . He was constantly hungry and demanding from day one.

Constant feeding , attention seeking , lack of sleep , hours of screaming. These are all the memories i have of my sons first year . I try to remember the first smile or laugh or when he first crawled or walked and i all i remember is hell . I blogged about it a few times on my family blog . I read through old posts and remember little of it , i so wish i had this blog then as i remember sitting and blogging and not able to really write how i felt.

I was depressed , i was miserable and i wanted someone to help me more than anything. I finally gathered the courage to go and talk to the doctors about it and they told me unless i wanted to stop breastfeeding there was nothing they could do. It broke my spirt and i spiralled even further down the black hole , no one was going to help me.



It did get better as he got older, i know walking made a difference in his temperament and his sleeping started getting better at some point between then and now.

Now he is 21 months and does sleep all night, he is still very demanding and screams at everything



His temper is horrible and he is very violent . I get so frustrated and angry with him when i cannot move for his yells and need for attention . He wants milk all the time but sometimes i just don't want touched . God forbid you don't give him what he wants.

These days though he is more fun , sure hard work but aren't they all at this age ? He does laugh and smile , he can be sweet and attentive and I'm so proud of him . I would not change a thing about him , but his first year of life will always remain in my mind as the year of the cry baby.



Hopefully this year will be the year that i remember as full of toddler giggles , plenty of sleep and kisses .