Cry Baby

It is a Gallery meet writers workshop this week . With one word to focus on ...Emotions

I went through many different pictures trying to find one that called to me and could not decide between something that said emotion or made me feel . In the end i went for this.



He was never a happy child . His birth was perfect , born at home in the water but the pregnancy was stressful and i often wonder if this was something to do with his temperament ? . He was constantly hungry and demanding from day one.

Constant feeding , attention seeking , lack of sleep , hours of screaming. These are all the memories i have of my sons first year . I try to remember the first smile or laugh or when he first crawled or walked and i all i remember is hell . I blogged about it a few times on my family blog . I read through old posts and remember little of it , i so wish i had this blog then as i remember sitting and blogging and not able to really write how i felt.

I was depressed , i was miserable and i wanted someone to help me more than anything. I finally gathered the courage to go and talk to the doctors about it and they told me unless i wanted to stop breastfeeding there was nothing they could do. It broke my spirt and i spiralled even further down the black hole , no one was going to help me.



It did get better as he got older, i know walking made a difference in his temperament and his sleeping started getting better at some point between then and now.

Now he is 21 months and does sleep all night, he is still very demanding and screams at everything



His temper is horrible and he is very violent . I get so frustrated and angry with him when i cannot move for his yells and need for attention . He wants milk all the time but sometimes i just don't want touched . God forbid you don't give him what he wants.

These days though he is more fun , sure hard work but aren't they all at this age ? He does laugh and smile , he can be sweet and attentive and I'm so proud of him . I would not change a thing about him , but his first year of life will always remain in my mind as the year of the cry baby.



Hopefully this year will be the year that i remember as full of toddler giggles , plenty of sleep and kisses .

Creatures

Easy one from the gallery this week. It is Creatures and i knew exactly what to choose.




Can you tell what they are?

We picked up the Insect Lore Butterfly Garden for Rebecca's birthday and we are currently watching the cocoons and waiting for butterflies to appear. Its a fun like kit that kids love but is also educational . I also did not think *i* would love it as much as i did and spent many hours watching the caterpillars grow and change .

We all cannot wait till they become butterflies .

Sony Ebook and Other Stuff

I seem to be taken a little bloggy break at the moment, been busy with life (more on it on my other blog)

Ok i admit it , it is not just the kids and hubby that is keeping me busy but a couple of new toys for ME.

I finally got a new dish washer (old one broke a few months back) and while that is not keeping me busy (saving me time in fact)it is new and shiny and fun.

I also proved nagging worked and got hubby to buy me Mario Galaxy 2 which must be played at every opportunity...well when i am not playing with my favorite new toy.



Isn't it adorable ?

I have wanted an ebook reader for ever (i mean its been at least 6 months now) and I'm so please to finally have it. I have loaded it up with novels (96 and counting) and spend every free moment (when not playing Mario ) on it .

It is small and light weight , battery life is excellent (6 days old , have finished one decent lenght novel - Harry Potter Goblet of Fire - and battery has just went from 4 bars to 3 ) . Its easy to use - both the hand held and the computer soft ware . No complaints about it so far .

I don't seem to miss real books , the screen is designed to look like a book and i think it does a very good job. It is not back lit so at night a light is still needed but i like that fact, better battery life and makes it feel more bookish.
Turning pages require a press of a button and it takes a second or so to refresh which is not as annoying as it sounds - still takes less time than turning pages of a book .

I love how light and easy it is , i can carry it around with me and when i have a minute or two turn it on and its already at the right place for me to carry on . The kids actually let me read it , when i tried to read a book they would grab it off me but don't bother with this one. I got the pocket version which retails around £160 and is a pretty pink colour (not red as it says on the box ) .

I would definitely give it a 10/10 for everything at the moment but it is still very new and i may feel differently in a few months ...now i have 30 more minutes of me time and im going to either read or play or maybe just finish my tea and look up more holidays .

(For the record this was not a sponsored post , everything was paid for out our own pockets but if anyone wants to give me another new dishwasher , wii game or ebook reader to review i will be more than happy lol)

Motherhood

It is a very special gallery this week , all pictures entered will be on display at the Cybermummy conference and there is real life prizes to be one.

Motherhood , i could only think of one picture to enter . This one picture to me sums up motherhood, unfortunatly its a picture i have also shared a dozen times lately and is the header of my blog.



To me that is motherhood. I look rough but ever so happy , i am playing with my son on the floor and we are having a giggle. Nothing mattered in that moment accept him and i - it is what motherhood should always be about.

I Could

Have you ever had a moment when your realise that your life from this day onwards will be different?

On Saturday night i returned home from Rebecca’s dance show. My husband had returned home a few hours before and had successfully managed to get both Eilidh and Ruaridh to sleep. I know this may seem like no big deal, my husband has put the children to bed before.

The surprise is he put Ruaridh to bed without any milk, Ru went to bed and as he does every night now and slept happily for 12 hours before waking.

For the first time in his almost 21 month Ru did not take milk to sleep.

It has opened my eyes to a new world of possibilities, i could miss bedtime if i needed to or go away for the night or go to an exercise class. If i wanted i could wean him and for the first time in almost 6 years have my body to myself. I could get really really drunk or go an extremely crazy diet and not worry about milk. Could drink Red Bull and let someone else deal with the kids if i get ill.

It has also made me realise that i don’t want to stop feeding. Yes i am loud and proud, Ru still breastfeeds at least half a dozen times a day. Rebecca only stopped a few months before her 3rd birthday and i imagine Ru will go at least that long.

What the weekend made me realise was i was no longer tied down by feeding; i can have my freedom if i want it. I can also stop looking at feeding as a burden but something that is done because both my son and i love and enjoy it.

What could possibly be wrong with that?

A Lesson

What i have learned .

For 5 weeks now i have been a single parent.

I have learned that i am stronger than i though i was, i have learned i can cope alone. I can raise the children, i can keep house and provide meals. I can have fun, they can have fun, WE can have fun.

I now know that if my marriage ended tomorrow i could cope as a single parent, i could manage all the commitments. I could still have me time and enjoy life.

I have learned that i do like being alone , i like being able to do what i want in the evenings and not having someone nagging me when i decide to go to sleep at 8pm . I like getting to sleep where i want and have no one telling me to get out the bath so they can pee.

I LOVE not having another grown adult to clean up after, less laundry and dishes to do. I love getting to make my bed first thing rather than waiting for hubby to drag himself out of bed then doing it.

I have learned i can be happy without a man.

I have also learned how lonely alone is, how evenings stretch ahead of me with no one to talk to. I have learned just how much i really love my husband and how much i want him in my life.

He is home now, it’s been the longest and quickest 5 weeks of my life. I hope the next 3 are the slowest

Sun Cream

Five star sun care from Wilkinson.

I feel like Wilkinson are my own little fairy god mothers. There i was sitting on an unexpected sunny day with 3 children and no sun cream. My eldest was upset and demanding i bought some NOW. Suddenly my door went and the post man bought a lovely package of sun creams for me to try .The children and i were very happy.

Wilkinson have recently re-launched there Wilko Suncare range with a maximum of five star rating to ensure protection from the sun’s harmful rays. The range includes over 30 products, have been dermatological tested and start from as little as £2.98

I received 3 products to test.

The first was the Wilko kids moisturising sun lotion – priced at £3.98 for 200ml. It was factor 50 and water resistant. It comes in a handy spray bottle and sprayed out as a lovely purple colour (which really impressed my girls, they both love purple). It spread easily but it did seem to take ages to soak into the skin. I felt the children looked very ghost like for the first 20 minutes or so. It smelled lovely and after it soaked in you could not tell they had any on, all 3 spent the day in the sun going in and out of water and the cream protected their skin 100%. I was impressed with it.

I also received the Moisturising sun lotion – prices at £2.98 for 200ml. It was factor 30 and also water resistant. I haven’t had a chance to test this in the sun yet but it smells nice and goes on great.

Lastly is the after sun lotion with tan maintainer. I loved this product, i came home red as a tomato from a day out and covered myself with it. It really felt great and took the heat from my burns. I used it a few times over the first few days and for the first time ever my burns did not peel but turned a lovely brown. It contains Aloe Vera and vitamin E and it really does work.

I am overall impressed with the Wilko’s range, it is easily as good as the other products available out there but for half the cost.

Now i only hope we have enough sunny days to get the use out of them.

Cup O' Tea

Umm still life? Ok i admit i had to google it , i know the term but was not 100% sure on the concept . Im still not sure i really get it but here is this weeks entry to the gallery

Its a whole load of tea (the cup is also full) . Around 2 1/2 pints there and its my way of chilling when the kids are not around. When the girls are at nursery and my boy sleeping i make a lot of tea and drink it all . Anyone want to send me a proper tea pot though ? My measuring jug does a terrible job of keeping it warm :)