Thursday, 10 February 2011

Oh Baby

There comes a time , i imagine when most couple have the discussion - the discussion of "should we have another baby" . In our house it is more a case of me going "lets have a baby" and my husband going "" .

My husband pointed out his reasons and they all make sense but that does not take the wanting away. Cost is a big worry of his - not really for now ( the extra child benefit would more than cover the cost of another child for a few years at least) - but for then.
We want to be able to go holidays overseas , we want to be able to buy the children whatever the want or need (with in reason). I don't want my children the only ones not having the "cool" toy of the "right" shoes . I want kids to have time with mummy and daddy and not be pushed out. We also, as my husband pointed out "don't want to be 50 and have little ones running around" .

We have agreed to leave the talking for now and discuss it again when the timing is right . As much as i would love it now our home is just to small , almost 1.5 years it has been on the market and i am not holding out for it to sell soon. The biggest worry comes from hubby being less than a year away from completing his PhD - we don't know what will happen after that, jobs are so hard to come by and we are terrified he will not get something . It is another reason why i would love to out this place and not have a mortgage hanging over our heads .

I know why we are not doing it now , i know why we should not do it later . I also know that i will never stop wanting another child and looking forward to the day i get my husband to agree :)


Yesterday i was talking to a friend who said she was 4 weeks pregnant with number 5 . I guess this brought out my green eyed monster - they are in a much worse finical position than us , she does not work and her husband does...sometimes (he seems to quit a job as quick as he gets it) . They refuse to claim benefits so mostly live of nothing . She admits that she almost never eats , normally just finishes of the kids foods because she cannot afford to . She says she wants dozen of kids and will keep having them even though they have no way to support them .
I am not wanting to appear mean here , after all she is a lovely person and her kids are adorable - she is an awesome mum and they are lucky to have her . I just feel she does not look ahead . She thinks of the now , not how it will be when they have 5 (+?) teenagers all wanting fed and clothed .


Do you think it is important when planning your family to think about the future ? Or did you choose not to worry about it and just enjoy the experience ?


  1. Really interesting post. I wrote something similar awhile ago. I'd love to have another baby, babies really don't cost that much especially if you already have 1 or 2. Cribs etc can all be used more than once and clothes can be passed down. It is though as they get older that things start to cost more. After school activities, days out, holidays, clothes. You need a bigger house, a bigger car or 2 cars. It does take the romance out of having kids but I do think costs are important, even for the simple things.

  2. I think people do forget that as they get older the cost of having children is astronomical. Teens eat so much and their shoes and clothes are expensive.Although when the decision was made to have number circumstances were very very different I am a bit worried now how I will cope financially in the long term....but then I do eat and I could never live off of scraps to eat like your friend. That is very sad and it is all relative isn't it. We live like Kings compared to that. You have to do what you think is right for you and your family.Good luck. :)