Mother And Son

I never wanted a boy till i had one


First picture together , 20th September 2008 , 1 hour old



Latest pictures together, 30th April 2010, 19 months and 10 days old





My son is my life

Paths

This is my first time taken part in the workshop from Josie , looking through the prompts i choose prompt number one which asks

1. What life path did you take a few steps down only to realise it wasn’t for you and come running back? Why did you decide not to continue?


I have not been one of these lucky ones who were born knowing what i wanted to do. I have at times wanted to be a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Journalist, a Teacher and remember looking into the police force a few years back. Then there was accountancy which i enjoyed and that was that i was going to be an Accountant. As with everything else though it was not really for me, while i could do the job it was boring and i lacked any passion for it.

Almost 5 years ago i found the perfect career and that was motherhood, the role fit me and fulfilled my life like nothing ever had before. If i could choose this is how i would spend the next 20 years, i would have more children and get to spend the years with them all. This is not possible though with no more children in our future so i had to think about me. Just what was i going to do with the rest of my life?

The answer had been floating around my mind since i first got pregnant with Rebecca – Midwifery. With my passion for all things pregnancy and birth related then i would be perfect. I finally accepted what i wanted to do and threw myself into preparation for applying to universities. I signed up for an Access to Midwifery course at home, joined message boards and other communities. I even applied for deferred entry 2011.

Almost a year down the line my mind is not so made up , i know the path i have to follow in life will involve birthing , pregnancy and hopefully breastfeeding but i no longer know if midwifery is for me. It seem to be its a profession that is fraught with difficulties and hardship , Midwifes are no longer able to enjoy the job as they have so many rules and regulations to follow. University places are difficult to get into, 3 years of incredible hard work must follow and at the end many are left unemployed. I almost feel i am too passionate about it, i just care too much.

I love natural birth, i love breastfeeding and baby wearing and co-sleeping. I don’t want to deal with inductions or bottle feeding , i don’t want to work in a clinical hospital environment where if i said what i really feel i would be out of a job. I guess what i want to be is an Independent Midwife but can i face the 3 years at university first?

So where do i go from here? For the moment im going nowhere, im applying to Association of Breastfeeding Mothers to become a Mother Supporter. Im going to do a couple of health related Open University courses and im hoping to train to become a Doula towards the end of the year. Midwifery will wait at the moment, im not sure if im permanently putting it on hold or just need some time to come to terms with the bad aspects of the job.

Portrait

All excited to be joining in with The Gallery this week.



Seems i choose an um.. easy week with Portrait being the theme. I really had to get searching for this one, i kept coming across pictures and realising i did not take it so could not use it. Any of the recent ones i took on my other blog for the passport pictures would of been perfect but i wanted something different. Then i came across this shot and remembered how much i loved it



My now almost 5 year old on her 2nd Birthday at out local Zoo.

Wikipedia describe portraits as " A portrait is a painting, photograph, sculpture, or other artistic representation of a person, in which the face and its expression is predominant. The intent is to display the likeness, personality, and even the mood of the person"

This pictures captures Rebecca perfectly, she was happy and having a great time on the inside but not a smile could be found. Thankfully this is no longer as issue.

This has been fun, looking forward to next week.

Welcome

Welcome to the first post of my brand new blog.

I am not new to blogging , i started my first blog Synchronization Of Us in February 2006 when my dd2 was only a few months old . She is now 3.5 and a new not so much a baby has taken her place .
Blogging has changed alot in the last 3 years when i first started, blogging in the Uk was relatively unknown and i maybe came across a British blog once a month or so . Now it seems to be a booming business with hundreds of us on British Mummy Bloggers and our very own blogger mummy conference (which i am not going to boo hoo) .

I now find most of the blogs i read are UK based , I'm down to maybe a dozen US ones and to many to count British ones . Its a busy place that i something feel gets very competitive but it is a place i would like to be more active in. Before i felt as if i was betraying my blog by doing so .

I started blogging to make a record of my kids FOR my kids, i have a dream of giving them a printed copy when older so i need to be careful with what i write. I feel starting a new , separate blog will give me a sense of freedom.
Not only will i feel i can be myself here and join in with the blogger workshops and games that go around but i will be able to get back to basics with my other blog. No longer will i feel i cannot post about what i done that day with the children because it would bore the readers, i simply will not care because its for them and no one else.

So this is day one , i hope its the first of many.